My name is Dean.  I’m female, by the way.  I was born and raised in the Philippines.  In my former life, I used to work in the media.  Then moved to Africa to work as a volunteer in a small NGO in Tamale, Ghana and met my future husband there.  He was also a volunteer.  Currently, we live in a small cottage by the sea in North Cornwall with our two-year-old (turning three) and a cat named Boots.  We hope to have a dog join our family soon.

1. Why did you move abroad?
I like to travel, but I was never one of those people who have always dreamed of living abroad.  After Africa, a close friend and I were planning to backpack in China for a year, before going back home to the Phil.  But that of course changed when I met my husband, got married and now have a little girl, instead we moved to England where my husband is from. We do plan to eventually settle back in the Philippines later on.

2. How do you make a living?
I do some freelance writing online, which is actually not easy to find. My husband works as an OU (Open University) lecturer, which enables him to work from home except when he has lectures and then has to drive miles away to teach.  Actually most of the people I know who live down here in Cornwall are also expats, my daughter’s best-friend’s mom is Swedish, another friend is from Canada and a lot of them are also Londoners who’ve escaped city life for country living.   I’m seriously trying to think of a career-change – dog walker?  You’ll have to literally drag me out of bed in the winter and when it’s raining.  Window-cleaner?  I’m a bit scared of heights.  Waitress?  I’m too clumsy.  If someone has an idea, do get in touch.  I’m actually running out of ideas here.

3. How often do you communicate with home and how?
It depends really on who is available, if I had my way, I’d want to be able to Skype with them all the time - sometimes though my daughter and I Skype with my mom or sister every day which is really good because at least despite the distance she is able to get to know my side of the family too.

4. What's your favorite thing about being an expat in England?
The rich cultural experience!  I’m an English Literature graduate, so being able to visit the birthplace or the graves of writers I admire like Thomas Hardy in Devon, or the Bronte sisters in Haworth, Yorkshire, or even Shakespeare in Stratford-upon-Avon is something that still leaves me in awe sometimes.  Not to mention being able to visit places like Stonehenge that has been here for thousands of years, plus old castles, medieval abbeys, and stately country homes (my husband and I are members of the National Trust so were able to get in for free).  We have old churches too in the Philippines, but sadly we were heavily bombed in World War II so we don’t have much old buildings standing much anymore especially in Manila.

5. What’s the worst thing about being an expat in England?
The weather here in the UK is not for the fainthearted.  I think it takes a certain kind of mindset not to be affected by the dreary austere weather England is known for.  The winter isn’t as harsh as other European countries or Canada, it’s the greyness that really gets to me sometimes.  There are days when all I want to do is just hide under the duvet and wake up when it’s springtime.  Don’t get me wrong England is also beautiful even when it is enveloped in a thick fog or eerie mist, it’s when it stretches on for days and days, that’s when it really gets to me.  And of course, everything is expensive here!

6. What do you miss most?
Apart from the obvious reasons such as my family and the warm lovely weather, I miss cheap food and cheap entertainment.  Here in England you won’t be able to have a nice meal with your family in a restaurant with £30 unless it’s pub grub or a greasy spoon.

I also miss the city!  I have a love-hate relationship with the country.  I’ve lived in cities all my life.  I miss the chaotic mess of the city.  Then again, I’ll change my mind as soon as I see the ocean and walk through the lovely country lanes here in Cornwall.

7. What did you do to meet people and integrate in your new home?
Becoming a mum has helped me integrate more, there’s playgroup, play-dates, or even just going to the beach.  You get to meet other parents anywhere and just suddenly start a conversation talking about your children.  Going to church too is also a good way to meet new people.  I’m not so good at it though and have missed many Sunday services – we have a lovely parish priest who usually ends up visiting our home when we haven’t gone for some time.  I secretly enjoy his visits because he is such an endearing man and we always end up having such wonderful conversations.

8. What custom/ habits do you find most strange about your adopted culture?
I can’t eat cakes or anything sweet when I’m drinking alcohol.  But the British certainly can! After all Shakespeare did write in the Twelfth Night “Dost though think because thou art virtuous there shall be no more cakes and ale?”  

I also find it admirable (not strange) the way they don’t allow the rain to dampen their spirits or change their plans.  One time, we had some guests visit us for the weekend and we planned to have a bbq.  The clouds promised rain and delivered of course.  Unyielding, my husband stood under an umbrella, trying to shield the bbq from the rain and the four of us sat in our garden, ate our bbq and only retreated inside when the food on our plates were getting really soggy.

I also find it funny/weird that no matter how small a village is in England, there is always more than one pub!  We live in a small one and we have three pubs!

9. What is a myth about your adopted country?
Not the country, but the people - that the Brits are a bit of a snob or stand-offish. They have a great sense of humor and are even the first one to put themselves down

10. Is the cost of living higher or lower than the last country you lived in and how has that made a difference in your life?
Definitely higher!

11. What advice would you give other expats?
Living in Ghana has taught me how much fun and how much you can learn from mixing and befriending the locals.  Live as the locals do, don’t just stick with your fellow expats.  Why live abroad if you’ll end up mixing with only your kind?

12. When and why did you start your blog?
I’ve been blogging on and off for the past ten years.  It’s only been really recently when I moved to Wordpress that I sort of got “serious” about my blogging - I blog about motherhood and what life is like in a small village by the ocean.  If you’re familiar with Doc Marten, our village is a bit like that.  Incidentally, Port Isaac (where the TV series is filmed) is just a short drive away from our place.  Do come and visit my blog!

Dean's blog, Little Steps

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